16/08/2011

How to Coax a Cancer Man Out of his Shell

Astrologically Cancer is represented by a crab, a creature with a hard-outer-shell and a soft and tender underbelly. The individual born under this sign is easily bruised by life and prone to seeking self-protection. Within Cancer is a profound sensitivity, and they need to know that you are dependable, and can be relied upon before opening up. The Cancer man needs to feel secure and fears being rejected. It helps if you regularly show that you can be there for them when they need you, and this is essential for a secure and happy crab-man.

This man more than any other needs constant emotional reassurances. Before venturing outside and sharing his emotional self, he first asks: “Is it safe?”  And since the Cancer man carries around his home wherever he travels, it is usually thought to mean that they always need to feel emotionally safe and protected, and dread the prospect of getting hurt.

The security needs of Cancer are powerful and they need to feel safe before they come outside. If Cancer feels insecure expect the shell to be tougher. You need to respect an on-going state of vulnerability, and so he will project a hard, crabby exterior on the outside at times. The Cancer man can have his moods that rival any females, but sometimes his moody, broody and self-protective nature is kinda sexy. As long as he doesn't act like a big baby, and doesn't run to momma every time something goes wrong you can coax him out of his shell.

For Cancer they need emotional trust, and planets in this sign develop binding emotional attachments to people. It takes time for them to feel secure with others and there has to be a sense of familiarity, for what is known is comfortable and safe. Some TLC is always deeply appreciated, and he needs to feel that you really understand him. However, do be aware that his moods can easily shift, as Cancer is ruled by the Moon. The Moon’s phases, constantly shifting and changing, are a suitable image for the constant flow of moods, desires, feelings, fears and premonitions that bathe your Cancerian lover.

Perhaps luring him through his creative and deeply vivid, imaginative nature and prophetic dreams is the best way to his heart. For our Cancer man feels most at home here.

“He like the crab inhabits the patch of sand midway between the mysterious ocean and the dry land of ordinary life. Ideas and images come to him, and he gives birth to them. Then the tide recedes, and for a time he is stranded. The process begins again.” By Liz Greene, Astrology for Lovers

Cancer is the homebody of the zodiac, and when he feels threatened he retreats into his shell and into an inner ocean of emotion. He is also protective and nurturing of others, and senses when they are feeling vulnerable to life. If you are very important to him he will want to make you feel safe at all times, so that you also feel at home, but he is also a worrier and if you don’t return his call he will begin to imagine the worst has happened to you.

The Cancer man will always want to make sure that you are tucked away safe and secure. He will also do whatever it takes to defend anyone or anything that’s of value, as he is the ultimate protector and defender of the zodiac. You may find that he clings to you as if it is the last time he will ever see you again, and is constantly on the lookout for any threats. Cancer’s live to connect, share feelings and care for those close to their heart.

Respecting his security needs goes a long way, he might also like it if you cooked his favourite  food, run him a bath, and cuddled in bed. Even more so he might enjoy a moonlit walk by the ocean as he can be quite the romantic. It is only by offering plenty of love and reassurance that he will feel at home with you. Once he is feeling comfortable you will see the real soulful face of Cancer. Also remember that he is very driven by his emotions, and deeply connected to his surroundings.

Don’t be harsh with him or ignore his feelings otherwise you will see his hard, defensive nature come to the fore. This doesn’t mean you have to baby him or feel like you are walking on egg-shells whenever he is around, but respect his needs for privacy, withdrawal and retreat and understand the deep and powerful emotions that reside under the surface. Cancer needs time away from the world, and this allows him to replenish emotionally, swimming about in his imagination, feelings and moods. Retreating into his shell is a way to keep him safe from over-exposure, hurt and criticism.

The Moon remembers everything at a deep and instinctive level, and remembers if our needs were met or not. Psychologists and astrologists claim that our memories dictate all our life-long future habits. The Moon is the dictator of the tides and of human emotions, and so everything out there potentially affects him in extreme ways on an inner level, and he is subjected constantly to the ebbs and flows of the emotions that run through his veins.

A negative emotion has his stomach tied up in an anxious knot, and challenging aspects to his Cancer planet/s can make his insecurity worse. The establishment of a nurturing and nourishing relationship will gain his confidence and you will find his soft and emotional centre. You might even have to climb into his shell with him, and both of you can take care of each other.

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